Ethan’s writing blog

To me, it is pretty insane of fast life moves. What I mean by this is a lot can change in an instant. This difference happened when I went to college at Converse University for the first time. This was about a year and a half ago, which to me is pretty insane. This craziness started around my senior year. It felt as though everything was changing and a new chapter was coming. My dog of 12 years died one that we got when I was very young. This was very sad for the whole family. I would also meet Kristi, someone who I have grow every dear to. She is now my girlfriend and the love of my life. With that I have been spending so much time together which can suck in a few different ways as its less time with others. The thing for me is that I feel the best with her and even if we spend all day or a week together we really don’t get old of each other. I also moved away from my parents and will never actually live with them again. This is a good thing, but it also has its sadness. This is just because its a end of a chapter, one that will never be the same. With all that I am glad to have Kristi along the way and God to get me thought it all.

Today is December 24, 2020, or Christmas Eve. It is a different Charismousm for many, but especially me. I have tested positive for Covid 19, the big thing this year. As of the monument I am typing this, I feel very well, just a bit tired. I am sad that I have to be in this room with no one, but the way I look at it is getting to rest and do things I normally don’t get to do. 

First, I decided to clean my room so that it was cleaner; this is to feel better about the way it looks and all the time in the room. Then I decided to make the bed. I then watched some tv, edited some photos, and edited some videos. The next day or yesterday, I had a zoom call with my friend Isaac; he told me some more stuff about the film, and then we had to go. That part was a bit sad because I was a little lonely. I also had so many good calls from family and friends, which made my day.

As crazy as all of this is, and it really does suck how I will depend on Christmas in my room is all that mad. I can and will spend this time doing things I won’t normally do, and at least I can still go outside a little bit. If I had to pick, I would choose to get it every time rather than someone more vulnerable to the virus.

So matter what, I will, and I suggest you do the same look at life for the end of the tunnel. Try to look for the better- good even if there seems like there is no good. Sometimes the good is the people, the bad thing brings them together, and they love people show in hard times. Love is the greatest gift one can give.

2020 for everyone has been a much different year than we have been used to, especially for young people. During this year, there have been many things that I didn’t know could or would happen that became reality. Before the year started or even back in January; we knew it would be a significant and-or possibly a crazy year. It was supposed to be a big year. We had a big election coming; we were either going to re-elect our president or elect another one. Even the year before, we knew this was going to create some sort of division. They kept telling us it was the most critical election of our time; who knows if that’s true or not, but people most certainly reacted to it. Several smaller things happened-the weather was terrible, my Europe trip with my junior cycling team canceled, and oh yeah, Coronavirus. That one was big because it has and still affects us right at this very moment. So with more time and even more strength, I learned many things. I learned grit and perseverance, two things I already knew pretty well, but I grew to know them through this tough time even more. I use them to help me get through this situation, to help me to stand firm, and yes, they help a lot. Something I also learned through this that is more recent. I have experienced less interaction with other people, something I’ve struggled with since back in March during the quarantine. Something I never expected, this was a time just with my family, and that is it—nobody else, just us. Those first days on WebEx hit me the hardest. I found myself very sad the first day logging off, after all the classes ever over, that was it, no other reactions with other people. So with that said, I missed people a lot more than I realized I would. To fill that, I tried to ride my bike much more than usual; I found myself riding way too much. It was merely because it was the only thing to do, and I liked it. Till one day, I didn’t like it, and it all came down from there, and I took some breaks. But recently, I decided to stop competitive cycling. And so far, I think it’s the best situation I’ve had. I tried to focus on relationships with others. To me, that’s what matters most. This is because I’ve missed people a lot more than I realized, and it made me feel a lot better being able to focus on relationships with others. So if there’s one thing I’ve learned during this whole time, that is to slow down and take the time, the time to get to know the people around me. This is because relationships are a true Gift.

I write to tell the stories of my life. To remember the memories that I once had. The ones that shaped me to be who I am today. The ones that made me who I am. The ones that taught me to keep ongoing. The ones that gave me perspective. They made me think in a different way. The memories that give me love and joy and happiness, things I would forget if they were not etched on this lovely thing called paper.

The feeling I get when writing these memories down is something much different than any other. It’s something important. They make me rethink the memories that have happened and it seems to sometimes give me a new perspective on a new thought on what had just happened. It brings back good memories and the memories that we tend to forget. We tend to take the bad and remember it. We forget all the goodness that we have been given and we take that goodness for granted. Not sure why we do this but seems to just be a common theme in human nature. I’ve written many things; especially for my age which is not very old, yet one thing remains the same. There’s a story being told and if you’re writing about it well, it needs to be told. That’s for sure because if it is not significant, you would not take the time to write whatever your memory is down.

Let’s face it, writing is a skill, but I think it’s more than that. As many people say writing is hard and not that many people are really good at it, but I don’t think that’s the problem. The issue is not the writing itself, but the stories behind the writing. It’s about the person gathering the information; it’s about how they see the world and their perspective of the world. The world is really just the way you look at it; everything is about perspective, it could be good or bad, wonderful or evil. You just have to find your balance. You have to be willing to look around the corner and see what lies behind each and every corner there’s a story. Let’s face it people are some of the most fascinating things on this Earth. The funny thing is people are very different, but also very similar. What I mean by this is people on the outside can be different, but once you get to know somebody, you find out that they’re struggling with some of the same things you are. They may even be struggling with things that are even worse. 

I like to write about how I see life. When and why I meet the people I do because I find it very fascinating. To me, it’s one of the most interesting things I can find. People tend to come into your life right when you need them and right when they need you. Isn’t that an interesting coincidence? Well no, most definitely not, if you did not believe you might think so. Yet, if you have faith you know and you can see as I am a witness to this that God has a plan for each and every one. I reason we live on this earth. Don’t you forget that because sometimes it really seems like we don’t know why we’re here. But when God wants you he’ll let you know he’ll hit you right in the back. It’ll be pretty hard to miss and you’ll want to miss it sometimes but you’ll know deep down inside what you’re supposed to do. 

The bottom line is this is how I feel. It’s how I feel about my writing. I don’t want to just write , I want to write to change lives. I want to make an impact. I want people to see the world a little differently, maybe even see it the way I do. Not to brag, because I’m not the smartest and I never will be. I don’t intend to be the smartest. In fact, I actually don’t want to be. I’m pretty happy right where I am. I’m smart in a different way. I tend to see the bigger picture. To see God’s plan and see miracles and signs that some people may never see in their life. All I can say is it’s a God-given gift.  I don’t care if my writing makes me Millions or no dollars if it makes an impact that’s the real reason I’m doing it. Of course, the money would be good, but that’s not really what matters.  I’ve already accomplished this a bit with my writing but I want to go a bit further oh, really happy where I’ve come and I know that is what I need to keep doing. 

I have to confess I’ve been off the grind with my writing a bit. The past few weeks have been a bit of a struggle or even the beginning of the school year.  I struggled with school and cycling as well. I genuinely believe it was a bit more than that though. I think it was COVID-people were my thing and still are and they were just taken from me. As for school I had chemistry and that was a tough class, English was as well, but even last year I could handle myself a bit more. Just mentally I was drained, honestly a little sad. I was stressing too much and wishing that I wasn’t spending so much time on just one activity. Almost regretting what I had done prior to this time, not sure what to do. I found myself stuck, so I decided to take a break from cycling, it was just a two-week break- nothing big. When the break was over and we were back on the grind for a good few weeks, one day it all hit me-should I even be doing this anymore? So with that said from now, I haven’t ridden in a while and I’ve taken it a lot less seriously and I actually feel and look a whole lot better. I’m happier- more joyful around others- in general glad about my decision. Some would say I made the dumbest mistake of my life. I don’t think so; I think I might have just learned one of the best lessons. Perhaps this lesson was more than just me losing my passion, for too much, but maybe a symbol for something much larger. A touch of reality. With this time I began to think. Was my time spent on cycling too much? Why did I miss so many great things just for one obsession I had? How much time did I lose from friendships that I could have had? All of these things hit me, and well I didn’t want to miss them anymore. That was my rational and I don’t know if it was good or bad, but so far it seems good to me. To me, it seems part of God’s plan and so I need to use this time for more writing and doing things that will make an impact on others. This is because my life has been way more than ordinary and I want people to know about my truly special life. 

 Recently I have found out even more that everything in life happens for a reason. Nothing just happens, life is too short for that to be. God makes things happen for a reason we may ever know what that is, but there is always a reason and I see it every day. I have seen it first-hand, his good works through us. He gives us all we need and we still choose to fail its free will and human nature. 

Yet, there is one thing God never gives up on and that’s us. God loves us more than love loves itself more than we can love God. He is a forgiving God, one that never forgets us. He does let us linger in the dark because he knows when we are struggling it will bring us closer to him. It’s sad but true we only think of God when things are bad when we are struggling. God lets us suffer because he knows we will come closer to him through suffering and struggles. He needs us to drawback in our faith. He is looking out for us.

Recently I found myself struggling. What I was struggling with is not the point. The point is I was struggling and God let it happen because he loves and cares about me. He knows if I struggle I will turn to him for help. I will realize I have been missing him for far too long and he wants me back. I will realize what matters most and that’s my love and faith in him. 

So every time you are struggling tune to God he is calling for you. He knows you need him and will turn to him in times of struggles. Just remember struggles make us stronger in faith. They bring us back.

I also feel like it may become a little more black and white. Specifically, it becomes as if you are either on one side or the other with issues in the world. Yet, this is not always how it works. Most of the time and it’s not this way. I admit I am one-sided more than I would like to be, and I continue to be. It’s wholly inappropriate, and I feel like as a society should just stop. We find ourselves not listening to others and thinking they are nasty or right, depending on their beliefs. An example could be whatever their political party is. I just feel as if we need to stop and listen to people more. It is an experiment I’ve been trying, and I enjoy it; you get to know many people just be friendly. To me, it just seems like we’re finding excuses to hate. Maybe this isn’t true, but I don’t know why we would do it? Human nature is pretty whacked. There’s nothing wrong with taking a stand where you believe but harassing somebody because of where they stand wrong. It’s what they think; it’s their right doesn’t matter. What they feel might not be right, but this is America. I know everybody wants to be perfect, but it must be for everyone if we wish freedom. You may not agree with this, but this is my thought, and it’s also okay for you to not agree that is my point. I just feel like that should not make you hate someone just because they disagree with you; you’re allowed to hate them, but I think it’s not a good thing. I’m just tired of all the hatred that we keep getting. It seems to be worse than I’ve ever seen it. Quite frankly, it seems to be about some pretty silly things such as Political topics or whoever you support running for election. It is all sad to me that’s something so stupid is what fuels so much hatred. 

 With that, I am not against arguments what so ever. Healthy discussions are some of the best things people can have. They bring up everybody’s points in a friendly way; there is ultimately nothing wrong with that. I admire taking stands and what you believe in. that is not what my point is here; my point is that it’s gone too far. We are calling people out people getting threatened because they are standing up for what they believe. Let’s think about it. We can’t change what people think, so why are we trying to do this? Let’s just have conversations, friendly ones when’s that makes us understand. Why can’t we try to understand rather than hate? Ask!  Ask people, try to know where they come from then make your point. Don’t fight fires with other fires or even with gasoline. Fight fires with fire extinguishers. Remember Gandhi and how he fought with no violence, not even any hatred. That’s how we need to be; we need to understand all sides. Or we need to try at least. 

The waves are so pretty with their white caps. They splash as if they have a plan yet they really don’t. They are just riding to the shore looking for something new and different. They just don’t want to see the ocean floor any more. They are tried, very tried, of being at sea. Oh and their sound is also so very pretty as it sounds like no other and is so very peaceful. They give a great back ground vibe making the beach some peoples favorite place to be.

The sand is also one of the other important components of the beach. With its lovely softness the sand is a place to lay, walk, play, or run/bike. It is the beach’s greatest parts and its worst parts. The same can feel like heaven on the feet or it can be hell to everything in ones home. Sand can and will get everywhere and I mean everywhere. In pants, shirts, or shoes.

Everything is so peaceful. Life is still, nothing in the real world matters, nothing at all. It’s all gone in the trash. It is behind you, not even a thought in the head. Your troubles just melt like snow in the summer time. All you can think about is how much you love it here and how you will never leave. It’s a beauty like no other. Only you can find this at the sandy beach.

The people having fun are a great site as well. They are having fun together as friends loving each other. They are friends true, real friends, friends for life. Friends that have that special place in ones heart. This is special truly as special as special can be.

The Planes Don’t Feel Right

After the 3rd plane, we were finally in the air headed back to Greenville after a long trip. It all started on the return trip from Maine with my grandparents. Our flight was a connection; first to Newark, not to be confused with New York, because this place is just crap compared to New York. I like to call New Jersey where we landed the trash can state because it’s just so dirty. 

Anyway, we got to the plane there at the second airport and everything was normal until it wasn’t. The plane taxied to the runway and off we went right? Completely wrong! We did get off but only about 25 ft on the runway and then we came to a stop. At this time I said to myself, “I thought we were flying not driving”. Two or three seconds later the pilot did that thing where he talks on the intercom or whatever, which- side note- only happens when something bad has happened. So yes something bad happened, but not the worse that could. He informed us that the plane “didn’t quite feel right.” What that means, well that’s what I was wondering myself. So we taxied back to the gate and had to start all the way over. 

It was probably a bit more than an hour before we boarded the next plane- now afraid to even fly any more. So the plane did its thing once again and we got to the runway to fly away, and the same thing happened again- I kid you not -the pilot was on the intercom again saying “the plane just doesn’t feel right.” I can remember that voice and that moment so vividly, like the voice of my best friend. This is just something you will never forget. It is etched in your brain forever and there is nothing you can do it stop, not anything.  

Eventually, after lots of fun, we are taken back to where we started at the beginning of my story. We finally get on another plane and taxied to the runway once more. This time we actually take off! We are flying at last and the pilot is not giving us his famous “something doesn’t feel right” speech. We headed to GSP, the airport in Greenville, which is pretty small compared to the ones we had been in all day. GSP being small it closes early, I believe around 11 or so. Anyway, we arrived alive, to say the least, and with a bit of excitement about our journey. The funny thing is that when we arrived at the airport it was one or two in the morning so we were literally the only ones there and it was amazing how quiet it was. 

Life is or is supposed to be upbeat and exciting. Yet sometimes it brings us the opposite, stillness and not much interaction of others. We find our self doing new things possible new hobbies. We realize how much we love people, possibly our friends. We see how they make us who we indeed are. We understand how many friends we had and how just sitting with someone at lunch can become a more significant friendship that you though. It is crazy to think about how only a few minutes a day can make a remarkable friendship.
Often we don’t realize how much some or people mean to us when they are gone. Really when anything is gone, we seem to remember it very well. When we have them, we don’t really see them the same. We take granted for them, and how much they do for us, it’s even worse with family. So as our life stays still, let remember the ones who we love most and be caring to then even with how are it is.

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Covid 19 is brought with countless problems. Yes, and most of them have been pretty sucky. Yet some of them have brought joy to my heart. They have just made me see there is still good and still happiness in our lives. To some it may not seem like a big deal, but it was just the love and happiness I needed. 

Lately it has seemed as if we have had less and less things to make us happy and just really not much to do. Yet, we need to take this time to see the real good we have in the great world. So just take sometime to think and I mean think deeply as if it was your last day here on Earth. Think about how you would act, what you would do, and most importunely what would you be grateful for. If you are reading this just pause and think, for a minute or so! Let the scenery around you take you to an even deeper place in your mind. Hearing things you never heard before. 

Focus mainly on the good thoughts. The ones that make you get those good vibes; they make you wanted to do good. Think about your friends. Take time to realize how great they really are and how much they mean to you. Maybe even call then to see how they are doing. Help them in the ways you can and just be there for them. Plain love them as you wanted to be love by them. Cherish the moments you had with them and will have with them. Tell them you love them because it truly makes a person’s day. 

Now let’s think about all the things we have done with the years we have been on this Earth. How much fun were these times? What did you do? What did you really like about whatever it was? I have found out that we seem to just like the people the most and the conversations we have. Maybe you are missing your sport and you don’t get out and exercise. We just want to do what we love and we really want to do it with others.

Now let’s think about our family. We get more time with them, more time much than we normally have. We may not appreciate it at the time, but we will remember it, and hopefully be happy and glad we were stuck with them. Believe it or not we will likely remember how we are never just able to be with them. Go get so precious time that we would not have had ether way. We got a chance to know them even better.

I live on a farm a, farm that is a wedding venue. Yes it is a place, but it much more then just that. First it a home, a place where family memories are made. Let’s focus on the good ones like learning how to ride a bike, driving, how to read, and just plan growing up. Every home does or at least should have these memories. Yet my place of living is so much different and, yes it a lot of work, but I think its worth it. It seems as there is always something to be done, when one thing is completed the next is in front of us. Yet all of that seems to go away at one perfect time. And I mean perfect as prefect here on Earth-if you know what I mean. This happens when two people come together here to become one in flesh; to be married. Their happiness brings so much joy it problem even fills Satan’s heart just a touch, well maybe. Its even more special when we are the saving of their day, especially with Covid 19 killing all the vibes they had. Some of them would not be able get to have that special day if it was not for this farm, a truly special place.

The farm or my home is also very special when I look at it. You just have to look at it in a good way. When you do I will get just an enormous feeling of happiness. I also feel so very happy to have this beautiful place. No matter what is happening if I just look at this beauty, I seem to feel much better, happy, and thankful.

So with all that has been going on, there are some good things they have come out of Covid 19. We just need to look at these good things and not take them for granted. Yes this time is bad, but keeping chill and doing different things is definitely something we need to do. So in this time keep chill and keep doing the things we are glad for and find those vibes.