As I stand on the front porch with winter all around me I can see the tail light on his bike blinking as he whizzes down the driveway. I can’t help but feel a sense of loss yet wonder as I stand there. This year he will go to places I have never been and do things that most people only imagine. He will do hard things. He will do them without fear. He feels the presence of God.
I watch the “blink blink” until it is no longer visible. The light flashes and then is gone. I equate this to my time here on earth. Just a flicker in comparison to this grand world. I pause, then turn and go into the house. How did He get here? So far behind me in years yet so ahead of me in spirit?
Almost thirty five years ago I started my journey as a mother. Thinking I had so much to teach when in fact I had so much to learn. Too busy to look forward or back- just letting the rhythm of days, weeks and years take over. What will it feel like when my days and my moments-are no longer ruled by the needs of a child? When my first thoughts are not about another person’s day? Will I be on time? What will my own thoughts be like? Will I find something else that needs to occupy my brain? I can only glance to the future and appreciate that God knows. I stand just inside my house and pray for what comes next. I pray for the peace that surpases all understanding. I pray for His will to be done; whatever that is. This is new to me.
Go to Europe! Stay in God’s presence as He knows.
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